I nailed it. Just Like Mary Lou Retton.

I nailed the IRB approval yesterday. It was a triumphant moment. All but one of the knots in my stomach seemed to untangle at once. And when the reviewer signed the email "Good luck!" I of course read it my first coded message of support, embedding in those two words way more enthusiasm, gusto, and awe for my work than ever crossed her mind. Delusional? Yes. Do I care? No. I got through the gauntlet that is the IRB! The Italian Consulate "incident" may have left me feeling a little deflated...but I liken myself to Mary Lou Retton scoring her perfect 10's in 1984 despite the knee injury...what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? Someone get me a gold medal and a Wheaties box.

Who has time for excitement?

There are only 12 days left until I depart. As the days have dwindled and I've checked off my to-do's I've discovered that one of the most annoying things about leaving is being asked over and over again if I'm excited about going.

Since this is my first post, I feel I should be honest about why I'm not excited to leave. I'm not excited because at this point there are still a million things to do ranging from super big deal items (pass IRB approval) to super small (find my outlet adapters). At this point they are all stressors to me, no matter the size. I'm not excited because I just wasted a day at the Italian Consulate in Chicago being blown off for my visa and am now resorting to "Plan B" which involves a white lie, holding my breath, and remaining calm upon arrival in Valetta. I'm not excited because I'm going alone and though I fully intend to immerse myself completely, I'm still more nervous about it than I care to admit. I'm not excited because even though it's only three and a half months, there are a ton of people back home I'm going to miss, and as my friend Lynn Rubin said, I've got severe "FoMo" - Fear of Missing out. I'm not excited because I'm going to miss my family, especially my nephew, who is truly too cool for his own good at the age of 6 and I know is going to grow a ton while I'm gone.

Now having said that...I need to add that I'm not excited YET. Let's not forget the fact that in twelve days time I'll be in the mediterranean people! and despite the fact that cultural fieldwork can be very lonely I am sure I'll make the best of it. I mean, I'll be swimming in the med every day for Pete's sake! I'm guessing that within 13 days I'll be laying it on pretty thick about why all of YOU should have FoMo for whatever is going on in my part of the world. In the meantime, I'm having a "can't see the forest through the trees" problem. There's too much to do between now and then to worry about! So who has time for excitement? I really don't. Not yet anyway.